6 Week’s + 2 Days on the Road… I/we are Back! The 2011 California Trip comes to a Successful End!

Yesterday we left Amana Colonies Iowa…. The weather was great the whole day…. At the Canadian boarder the guard was not a ‘rectum’ like the guy at the USA boarder… Our guy actually welcomed us home…. He didn’t want a list of all the things I’ve ever written and/or  what I talk about…lol.

12 hours on the road… very tired…we found ourselves in London Ont…. The pipes on the bike are very loud… I looked at the Wu and said, It’s only 2 more hours to home and our own bed…. Wanna save $200 and stick it out?

She looked at the hotels on our left and said, Go In!

Unfortunately, all I heard was, Go!..... So we kept going!

We made it home at 10:20… I was very tired and the last 2 hours nearly killed the Wu…. But we made it!

Ariving home 14 Hours Later

The Wu back in the Harley HideAway

As I look over all the pics I took of the adventure, I have to say that the trip at times was thrilling… For the first 2 weeks, wet and chilling and at many times dangerous. What is apparent however, is that most of it was fun, exciting and a fantastic experience.

Being out on the bike alone, often calls upon your inner strength that sometimes even surprises you that you have… or at my age… still have. You get to see and experience so many things most people will ever know.

Traveling by yourself can at times, be very lonely so you come to expect the kindness and generosity of complete strangers. I am happy to report that other than the USA border guard, absolutely everybody I met turned out to be wonderful people [to be fair, the guard had a job to do and is probably just as rectal at home!... only kidding… I’m sure he goes to church *_* ]

What I’m saying is it renews your faith in mankind… Refreshing in light of what’s on the news every day.

On the bike you have plenty of time to think. You think about your past, where you are now and what’s still ahead. It forces you to appreciate what you have and the people in your life that really matter.

… It also gives you plenty of time to rehearse the speech you’ll be giving to Bell Mobility in 3 webinars in July…  I think I gave the speech 50 times on the road… that’s well over 100 hours!...Time well spent! … I hope they appreciate it!

Speaking of Kindness, there are many people I have to thank, starting with my neighbors Kristina, Desiree, Leyton and Danika for looking after my fish aquarium while I was away. Much appreciated!

50 Kms this side of Sault Ste Marie... I’d like to thank Mike the Mechanic who was the first to repair my bike and get me down the road.

Mike

Thanks to Fantasy Falls Kakabeka Tom and wife Lise Richardson who own the Shell Station… They took me in from the rain when my bike broke down a second time, gave me a free coffee and put me in touch with CAA and Ted, the owner of Thunder Bay Harley Davidson.

Tom & Lise

Ted impressed the heck out of me by coming to his shop on a Sunday of the Victoria long weekend to open it up and take my bike in. Tuesday morning he put a mechanic on it, first thing, so I could be on the road asap. Thanks Ted!

Ted on the left with the Thunder Bay Crew

Thanks too, to Ryan – the service manager for Harley Winnipeg – who went far and beyond his duties in taking care of a stranded biker. On his days off, he drove to the airport twice to pick up a part and had his mechanic Sean come in on a Sunday when Harley is closed. Thanks so much Ryan for that and the many entertaining stories of your ‘conquests’…. Ah to be 33 again… sigh!

Ryan

Thanks to Katie from Vancouver who drove me around in the rain to get all my errands done… Had a fun time seeing you and Kathleen again… 

Katie & I taking a spin at the Harley Museum

  

Thanks to my high school chum David [DD] and Kat who graciously opened their home to me in Victoria. They also guided me around the island to see many beautiful things and meet my old Pitney Bowes friend Dave… Had a wonderful time and hope to reciprocate the hospitality at this end one day.

Thanks to my sister Jacqui and George, Kevin and Kellie for a splendid time in California…. All your homes are gorgeous and the generosity you provide knows no bounds and is greatly appreciated!... Keep it up and I just might come back… I can hear George screaming… NOOOOO! …^_^

Jacqui & George

Kevin...aka BB

Thanks to my Dad…aka Ace who rode out to meet me… only to wave and pass me on the road to Murphys…lol… Looking forward to seeing you again at the Sunday dinner table here in Richmond Hill.

Ace is the one on the left..

Imagine looking at that mug over Sunday Dinner!...lol

Thanks to those who followed my adventure-blog…. Judging by the stats… there were a lot of you… Thanks especially to the people who left comments of encouragement both on the blog and Facebook… It’s like a life-line to home that warms an otherwise lonely heart on the long road!

Finally… I would be remiss if I didn’t thank ‘my-reason-for-living’ …. The Wu!... I missed you when I was alone and had a wonderful time with you on the ride back… Love you very much… Thanks!

The Wu is the one not Singing!...-_-

Well folks… If I’ve missed anybody, I apologize…

This concludes the blog entries for the 2011 Trip to California!... Hope you found it interesting, fun and entertaining… I had a Blast!

LIFE is GOOD!

MB11

ps: Stay Tuned for even more Adventures this summer to be posted on this blog!   ^_^

Saturday:... We are within Striking Distance of Home!

Today marks a Month and a Half I have been on the road!

We out-ran the bad weather yesterday... It rained like a pig all night long in Grand Island Nebraska... This is what we woke up to from our hotel room:

The good news is, it stopped raining after breakfast and we took off across I80 out of Nebraska toward Iowa... under cloudy skies.

The bad news is nothing too interesting happened today... Didn't meet any interesting people... so I'll share with you a few things I haven't reported so far.

Two days ago, we caught up to 5 bikers traveling together. My intention was to pass them.... I passed the first biker and was behind a girl biker for a while... Suddenly she began to slow down and wave at me.

I thought she wanted me to pass her.... But when I saw the other 2 guys ahead of her slow down too.... I hit the brakes.... and slowed right down.

There, on the edge of the road was a full grown deer... looking at us... ready to dart out onto the road... If any of us hit it, we would not survive at the speeds we were traveling... Very Scary!

On a funnier note.... Yesterday in Nebraska, I saw, again, the cows I saw in 2004 that made me laugh out loud....

These cows are completely black.... dark black.... Except for the very front of their face.... which is Very White!

They look hilarious!

Imagine going by about a hundred cows at a fence by the side of the road... that are all looking at you.... that are all black... with what looks like Mime Makup on their face!.... Looking like they are about to do something!....

You get the feeling that when you are out of sight, they'll all get up and start pulling on a pretend rope... and/or appear to be walking against an imagined strong head wind.... or maybe miming their way out of an invisible box!

They are funny cows!

On an even funnier note... we turned into a gas station I am convinced my God Son Kevin... aka... BB.. and his *BFBF would find a great place to fill up!

Hey BB... they also rent movies!

May I suggest: The Crying Game?

or maybe: Broke Back Mountain?

Or.. I know:.... Rent?

^_^

As we got east of Desmoines Iowa... the skies darkened... Really darkened.. and it got very cold... and then the rain started...

We stopped short of our goal today and we are now in Amana Colonies Williamsburg Iowa... a little German resort... 100 miles west of Chicago.

If the rain gods hold out tomorrow... and I don't run into any rectums at the border.... we should be in our own bed tomorrow night!.... YEH!

Stay tuned for the voyage recap!

TTFN
MB11

*BFBF: Best Fun Boy Forever

Friday: God Spoke to me!

The Wu and I got up, got ready and rolled our bags down to the end of the hall and pressed the button for the elevator. Standing there I heard this big, 'God-Like' voice say, Good Morning!... How are you?

We both looked around and saw nobody!

Then the voice said, Are you staying another night?

I looked up and around and said, No.

The voice said, I've made arrangements for you to stay one more night!

I didn't return a comment... The Wu and I just looked at each other in amazement... There was nobody there!

The deep God-like voice said, I'd like to speak to you face-to-face.... Why don't you open up the door?

I hesitated, then replied... It's an elevator!.. I can't open it...

Just then, the Wu looked around the corner to see this big guy, less than 5 feet from us...[but we couldn't see him from where I was standing]... talking to someone behind a hotel room door..... Not to me!

We laughed all the way down to the lobby.... He sounded like God!

Then we headed back south and west to Alliance Nebraska to go to Carhenge... a place I visited in 2004.

I've been to Stonehenge in England a couple of times but

find Carhenge more interesting.

I'm standing where my dad stood in 2004 but this car was not buried here.

This and the dino were done by a Canadian from Vancouver.

Cowboy wagon

Really interesting place!

Then... the skies darkened ... There was a 'Doins-a-Brewin'... Potential Tornado and Hail!... We beat a trail across Nebraska and unlike the day before... we chased the good clear sky...

We entertained ourselves by waving to the many coal trains we passed along the way that tooted their horns [I said Horns!...lol] in recognition of our presence on the road.... Trains like bikers! *_*

As I have written... These are BIG trains!... You can't count the number of cars.... So I decided to keep my mind sharp by mathmatically calculating just how long they were.

I started counting Mississippi's and got to 60... So then I put my brain to work:

60 Mississippi's X 120 Kms/per/hr... devided by the aero dynamics of the atmosphere... plus the power of chlamydia... change the font... ignore the denominator ... times 'pie' r squared..... = [..... get ready for this]....
Answer:.... A Hellofa Big Friggin Train!

......................................................................................

You can fill in the right response:

The preceeding clearly points out:

a) The reason Paul still rides the 'Short' Bus at York U.
b) A sad commentary on today's Educational System.
c) That Paul's answer is totally correct!... Just how does he do it?
d) ... (a)... and  (b)
e) ...(c).... and  not (a).... and sometimes (u).
f) None of the above.
g) All the above.

The correct answer is : (g)... All the Above.

Note: If you... on your own... added ... (h) Vagina  

You would be entitled to 5 Bonus points!... But only at York U where they take an Existential view on education to an H,N,L!..A Ho... Nuva... Lebel!

                                      ......................................................................................

Later the Wu and I arrived at Broken Bow... Again... I have to take issue with names of towns like that!.....

Broken Bow!... What's up with that?... Who names these towns?... I'll bet the same guys that named the town 'Salmon Arm' I wrote about 3 weeks ago.... The conversation must have gone something like this:

Ok guys... we gotta name this new town... Let's do a better job than we did with the last one... Salmon Arm!... That was weird man... What was it?... Salmon for arms or salmon with arms?... We gotta stop smokin that weird stuff!

Let's see what we can do for this town...

Billy-Bob.... Any suggestions?

Well... I see a rock... Why don't we call it Rock Town?

No!... That's too lame.... Guys.... look around... be Creative!

Jessie?

Well... I jis found this here broken bow... Maybe we should call it Broken Bow!

Thats good... Very good.... But I think we can do better... Crazy-Larry... Got any ideas?

Ya... I think we should call it Twodogshumppin!

How's that?

Well... Look there at wut those two dogs'r doin right now!

So Broken Bow it is then!

[or words to that effect...*_*]

Later I asked a young man in the town about the origins of Broken Bow... He said that originally it was called Broken Arrow... cause somebody found a broken arrow.... Years later they changed it to Broken Bow ... cause apparently they found a broken bow at the same time... next ... I'm sure... to a broken TeePee in the broken Village...

The logic was not lost on me, however, as I know that in the 1960s there was a band called Jefferson AirPlane... in the 70s ... they changed to Jefferson StarShip... and in the 80s... even more modern... they became Starship...

I expect that one day soon... Broken Bow will no doubt become... Broken iPhone!

Had a great day... Rain scheduled for tomorrow.

TTFN

MB11

Thursday: Revisited my friend Crazy Horse!

Left Rock Springs... Through Wyoming... Into South Dekota.... Long ride.

In the morning, it got quite cold on the road... Had to put on some leather.... On the road in the distance was a huge black storm-set of clouds... Looked like something from a Harry Potter movie... Looked ominous.

Often, these storm masses are hundreds of mile wide and it can take a hundred miles to get to it.... unless you can manage to avoid them.... And that's when the road-gods start messing with your mind!

In the distance you can see this black storm - which means rain - of course the road you are on, is headed! On either side of the storm is clear skys and sunlight....You're thinking about pulling over and putting on rain gear... cause nothing is more uncomfortable to get wet first when it's cold or hot.

Then.... the road turns and you find yourself headed for the sun on the left.... YEH!

But 10 miles later the road turns and you are staring at the storm again... BOOO!

And this can go on for hundreds of miles.... We chased the black clouds all day... Nearly pulled over twice... could smell the rain...road on roads that were wet from earlier rain.... but managed to dodge any downpour... YEH!

When the sun came out, we happened on to another bear:

I think this bear was doing his best impression of Luciano Pavarotti

Then we made it to Crazy Horse Mountain, but not before we nearly ran out of gas again on Mt Rushmore Rd... Coasted into town on fumes!

Then we headed to the mountain monument.

Me in front of Crazy Hourse in the distance

To give you an idea how big this thing is, the face alone, is more than 10 stories tall...If you to the right and a little down from the hole, you can see the white outline of where the horse's head will be carved one day.

To put that into perspective, you could have 6 full Mt Rushmore monuments in the area of just where the horse will be on this monument.

Here is what it will look like in about 50 more years.

1/32 scale

The CH Pavillion and Indian Museum

The Wu in front of an Indian Motorcycle

Outside real Indians doing a traditional dance.

Real 'Toe-Tappers!' *_*

Then we decided to spend the night in Rapid City SD which meant we could drive by Mt Rushmore... get a quick pic... and continue on our way... We've seen MRM several times and it's $11 to go into the place so our plan was to just park on the road in front of it - like we've done in the past - and get the photo...NOT!

Those park-skunks have taken away the space on the road and put up No Standing signs and around the other side, a wall so big you'd need oxygen and a strong Shurpa to climb it to get a glimps of what is pretty underwhelming in the first place!... But take my word for it... We were there!

Checked into our room in Rapid City... Said to the Wu, The bathroom seems unusually large for the size of the room... Hopped 'up' on the toilet to see my legs and feet dangling like a pair of kid's sox on a backyard clothes line! It was then I noticed chrome handlebars all over the walls... We were in the 'Special Needs' room...

Coincidence? *_*

Today we are headed back to Nebraska to visit Car-Henge... Pics to follow... It's an amazing place.

We better get in and out of there asap because there is a TORNADO warrning for there later this afternoon and hail the size of coconuts! (>_<) [Friday]

TTFN
MB11

Wednesday: When Creatures try to Warn you! … got superstition?

This morning turned out to be another great day…. But it started in a very weird way!

First, I read the article my buddy Bob Peacock posted about a woman he knew who died in a head-on crash with a truck while on her motorcycle.

I have to tell you that things like that weigh heavy on a guy with his ‘reason-for-living’ and 80lbs of luggage behind him with over 6,00Kms still to travel…. Fatalistic thinking is a byproduct of the challenge of motorcycling… Controlling thoughts like that can sometimes be daunting… especially the longer you are on the road.

On another note….

One thing I didn’t tell you was that when I finally left Winnipeg, three weeks ago,  there was a great big black crow on the hotel above my bike… just looking at me as I packed my bags…

It was a little eerie because the bird just stared at me… Was it an omen? I felt like I was in an Edgar Allen Poe story!...  “Caw!... Never Again!”…Quothed the Raven.

This morning when the Wu and I started packing the bike, above us … looking down on me…. was the biggest black crow I’ve ever seen….

It was at least 2 feet in height and I’ll bet it weighed 15 lbs… It was huge!

It kept Cawwing at me from the roof…. Staring right at me!.. I took a couple pics and the it flew down beside my bike and looked up at me and kept cawing… Like it was trying to tell me something…

It was like a scene from a Lassie episode…

Bark… Bark!

What is it Lassie boy?

Bark… Bark!

Is Timming down the well again?

Bark…Friggin…Bark!!... Duh!

Well, the crow kept circling my bike and looking at me and cawing…. Loudly!

He wouldn’t let me pat him but he let me get about 4 inches from him…

When it was time to leave…. He physically got in front of my wheel and started pecking on it like he was warning me about something….

Good thing I’m not supersticious or I would have parked the bike then and there and taken the day off!

Soon we were of headed to Utah and the Salt flats…

Guess what…. We nearly ran out of gas again just beyond the flats… Rolled into a station on fumes… This time, didn’t have to steal/buy gas surreptitiously.

Relaxing at the Gas Station

Then we went by the Salt Flats where land speed records are set

The flats in the distance

There was a time when the Wu could climb up on a Dog... I mean Dino like this.

I have pics! *_*

We checked into a Quality Inn in Rock Springs ….Got a nice room with a King size bed.

Had trouble with the card keys getting in…. and that was just the start of our trouble…

I go to get on the internet to see that the hotel wifi is down… Phone the front desk and they say that it will be repaired in a timely manner… the following afternoon when the Wu and I will be 500 miles east of here….Nice!... This is why this post is late.

It was over 80 degrees in the room and I had trouble getting the little air conditioner in the wall working.

Then!.... The Wu is putting some wine into the fridge only to discover the last 2 visitors had left two vials of ‘Personal Lubricant’ behind…..Speaking of behind…. These were of the BEHIND variety! EEEEEWWWW!

Sitting on the bed, I looked at the Wu and said, You realize this time yesterday there was a couple Fun-Boys right here playing ‘Captain Rear-Spear!...[ As Jerry Seinfeld would say: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!...lol]… and she nearly gagged. (>_<)

Then I notice the TV clicker is not working… I open the back to see that somebody has crushed the 2 batteries…. Another Fun-Boy game? I wondered…. If so, 2 thoughts come to mind:

1)      That ain’t right!.... and

2)      EEEEEWWWW!

I get 2 new batteries from the front desk and return to my room to find that my key card is not working…. And neither is my TV clicker even with the new batteries!

So let’s recap: Bad keys, hotter than heck,  no wifi, an inventory of recreational rectal juice, bent batteries and a broken TV clicker………. We changed rooms!

This one had a loud Beep…Beep… Beeping noise when I entered… It was the alarm clock going off. I fixed that… The room was cool enough… that was good….Better check the TV.

I go to push the on button…. But there is NO FRIGGIN ON BUTTON!... Just a hole!.... But if you are brave enough to stick your finger in the hole [Another Fun-Boy Game?]… providing you can manage not to touch any electricity…. The TV comes on… and the clicker works….. Which is when the air conditioner STOPS WORKING!

I see a hotel worker and say, Boss! My AC isn’t working. He takes the grill off and the whole thing is iced up frozen! You’ll have to wait for this to melt, he said, and then don’t put it back on high cool…

He left… no doubt thinking he had satisfied yet another valued customer!

I took the hair dryer and tied it to the unit and ran it for about an hour till the ice was melted….

AC came back on as we slumbered off to sleep…. And then the AC Freakin Froze Over AGAIN!... so we spent the night outside our covers dying from the heat!

It’s now Thursday morning and thankfully we will be saying goodbye to this rundown Quality Inn Dump!

Don’t worry… Life is still good!

Stay tuned.

MB11

Tuesday: Ran out of Gas in the middle of the Nevada Desert!

The morning was bright and sunny in Reno... We remembered some of the things we did the night before:

The Wu showing off by the closest thing she could find to a dog!

Then we took off across the desert... many miles... No gas stations.... Then.. began to run out of Friggin GAS!

Eventually we left the highway.... only on fumes... We saw a sign for an air field... We thought an air field ... in the desert must have gas... or people....

The whole experience was like a "Yeh!... Boo!" comedy sketch....


Yeh!... it was a nice day!
Boo! you ran out of fuel in the desert!
Yeh!... There's an airport!
Boo!... It's abandoned....  there is nobody there!
Yeh!... There are gas pumps!
Boo! ...It's air plane fuel!

and it went on and on...

I know what it's like to die of thurst on a raft in the ocean... All around me... Fuel!... No Gas!

Dead Plane

I got this pump working... The fuel - air plane fuel - didn't smell right!

The Wu noticed this shed with a lawn mower in front of it.

Yeh!

But there was a lock on it!... Boo!

But the lock wasn't fully locked!... Yeh!

I opened the lock and ther was a dirt bike there!... Yeh!

And a can of GAS!... Frickin YEH!

So I decided to buy it!

I filled my tank to 1/4 full... leaving my new friend enough gas to fill his tank.... and I left a 10 dollar bill and re-locked the place like he had and left!

I said to the Wu... I'll bet there's a town very close to where we are... and sure enough... 4 miles down the road was a town with plenty of gas stations!

I'm still convinced that we would not have made it to there and would have been stuck on the side of the road.

Now.. I am in my room in Wells Utah.. 130 miles West of the salt flates...

The Wu is in a little casino we visited in 2004 when the UnEasy Riders made our way to Cali for the first time... It's like going back in time,

Tomorrow... Up early... headed for Wyoming... then Dakota....Hope the weather stayes good!

TTFN
MB11

Leaving Cali:.. Hello Nevada!... oh ya.. My new GPS is a B*#@ch!

So the Wu and I left California this morning:

We went to Reno.....

In Reno there was a Rodeo Convention.... While the Wu played slots... I saw cowboys of every convention[ there was a cowboy convention in town!] I saw cowboys thicker than a bull full of a barn full'o'hay!... Thinner than a shaft 'o wheat in a drought... Cowboys like a new shoot 'o corn and and cowboys littler than a sprout, knee high to a grasshopper!... These guys had 5 inch heels and 2 inch soles and still looked up to me in my biker boots!,,, LOL.

Tonight the Wu and I have had a great time in Reno:

On the way..however... I put into my gps... I wanted to go to Reno... which... since I also programed I wanted o go the fastest route... It wanted to take me over Ebbitts Pass ... which... since I had my 'reason-for-livining' behind me on the bike....up with which... I was not prepared to put!... so we went the long way...

So I programmed in ... Take me to Reno from Angeles Camp... 20 miles away from where I was...

No problem..

Left Murphys ... got to Angels ... then the GPS started telling me where to go...BACK TO WHERE I LEFT FROM!

I can only imagine the argument I might have with the girl on the GPS I might have with her if she was real:

Me:... wtf!
Her: What's yer problem?!
You sent me back to where we started!
No I didn't!
Ya... you did!
You just didn't listen to me!
No!... I heard you.... You took me the wrong way!
Why are you up in my grill Big Head?!... You never listen to me Ever!
I listen When You're Right!
Bite Me!
No You Bite Me!
NO... YOU BITE ME TWICE!

.... and then it ends.... She got the last word...

and she's a GPS

as it was.. the Wu and I ended up in Reno... Had a great dinner... I'm in my room talking to you... She's out at the slots spending money having a good time !

Life is still good!

TTFN
MB11