David and Kat escorted me to the BC Victoria ferry today and I bade both of them a fond farewell and boarded the boat.
Thanks again you guys… I had a wonderful time with you and your hospitality was exceptional! Much appreciated.
Before we left, however, Kat had to do a little electrical work on David’s trike.
You Go Girl!
On the ferry were many bikers of all descriptions and one anomaly… “The BIGGEST Biker-Babe in the World!”
In her bare feet, I’ll bet she was 6’6!... In her boots and helmet she clocked in at about 7’12!... If she fell down… She’d be out of town!!! Ya know what I mean?
Her upper legs were greater in circumference than my hips!... She was the size of a small military HumV.
Suffice to say… she casts a mighty shadow Or' the village my friends!
I got to talking to her… She was quite pleasant… I told her about my travels and how I had to spend 4 days in the Peg waiting for a part from Toronto… I naively said,… “Winnipeg!... Who could live there?”
She asked where I took my bike… I said Harley W/P… and I said the service Mgr was very helpful…
“You mean Ryan?”… she said.
Yes! I replied… getting a little nervous… How do you know Ryan?
I used to be the service Mgr there before Ryan!
….so you used to live in the Peg?... I said rather obsequiously…
Yes! She said…
I said, “Dope!” … and then as if by instinct, dropped to the fetal position... thanks to my self defense training on “What to do when confronted by an angry Grizzly!” course.
Turns out she had a sense of humor… and no need to crush a peanut-biker…
Here is Jackie…
She is the service Mgr in a Victoria Harley dealership… For the rest of the voyage, we bonded in our common interest of bikes and stories about Ryan’s conquests.
As we departed from the ferry… I followed her for miles as it became clearly evident to me that following her meant no bugs could ever hit my windshield…. Thanks Jackie!
Later I found myself at the USA boarder… speaking to yet, another rectum!
Where ya from?… rectum-boy asked.
Toronto!
Where ya headed?
Hayward Cali to visit my sister and father.
Yer sister live there?
[Duh!] Yes!
Where’s yer father living at?
In Toronto... and this is where it gets good!
The rectum… now thinking he has me in some conundrum of Boarder-Speak… says…
If yer dad lives in Toronto… why are you driving to Cali to see him? As he raised an eyebrow like he Caught-Me!
At this point, a million witty repartee’s rifle through my sarcastic mind… Which one do you like?
1- Hey Columbo!... No mystery here!... or
2- Hey crap-for-brains!... My dad is just visiting!.. or
3- Hey Don Parddle!... Love playing the 20 questions game … Would love to stay for the lightening round… but want to try and make it to Cali in THIS LIFETIME!
And so on…
But I know that saying things like that usually ends up badly… like for instance in the obligatory ‘Rectal Exam!’
I definitely don’t want to do that!.... again! (>_<)
So I just said, My dad visits my sister for 2 months every spring. ^_^
That wasn’t enough for Sherlock!
What do you do for a living?
I politely replied, I am a speaker and an author…
This bugged him for some reason!
What do you speak about?
At which point my brain went off again!
a) How to win friends and influence people… A class you might think about signing up for puddin-head!
b) Whatever the F__k I want to talk about!
c) Things you obviously know nothing about… Social Skills!... or.. the one I like best…
d) Vaginas!
The sad part is… all of these responses are met with the same outcome… A Cavity Search from a former Turkish Prison Wrestler with fingers – the width of which – are rivaled only by the girth of a Mexican Hoagie! …
No thanks!... Homi-don’t-play-that!... anymore! (>_<)
So I said…. Sales and Motivation… *_*
The rest of the day was somewhat uneventful… Lots of riding in mostly sunshine… That’s good!
I am now in Salem Oregon… Don’t know yet how far that is from San Fran but hope to be there by this time tomorrow….San Fran that is… I’m already here…
Life is good!... Keep in touch…
Ttfn
MB11
Yeah, Jackie is a big girl! She inherited the Service Manager position at Steve Drane Harley Davidson in Victoria from the former service manager who refused to do my trike build. He had long ago reached his maximum level of competence and had been treading water with one nostril above the water line. Jackie has been nothing but sweet with us when we've been to Drane's and she has lots of tattoos...and now I hear she's good at bug deflection too! Who knew?
ReplyDeleteHey Joe, good riding,nice people and great weather--what more can a biker want? Happy riding to San Fran and ring that G bell when you get there. God speed. Love Wu
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